Saturday, February 5, 2011

What if someone reads this.....?

What if someone does read this? It hit me with my anxiety disorder full blast! It went up a few notches and I closed my laptop and started all the internal dialogues that has kept the laptop shut for two weeks. My husband reads and says how he couldn't be so open....I start to wonder if people want me to be so open. The silly thing is....isn't the whole point of a blog, to share whatever is on your mind and post so people will read it? I started this whole thing because I felt I had something to say.
My life has been far from perfect and charmed....no white picket fences for me. I have felt in my sole that all this crap can't be for nothing! I know SOMEBODY is reading this and so anxiety or not my life and adventures will continue.

Sometimes the fear of rejection can be so overwhelming.....it's all consuming. I'm just sitting here in my bed with my laptop and the light bulb went on over my head (it rarely does anymore...hehe) that someone in Germany or anywhere else in the world could stumble across this and wonder, "Who is this crazy lady?"

One of my favorite quotes is as follows: "Courage is not the absence of fear...it is taking action in the face of it!"  So I'm taking action and a leap of faith that I have something of value to say. I worked for a Broker/Owner once and he always talked about what can you offer people that is of value to their lives. And though I'm not selling you anything, I want my words to be of value to those who choose to click and read. 

So here is the moral of this story: Don't let fear and anxiety run your life. There is something we all are afraid of so we stuff it down and sometimes self-sabotage ourselves. My goal is to let that go and be free. Freedom  from fear is a wonderful thing.